How I Learned to Keep My Weaknesses from Derailing My Career

Blunt.

Intimidating.

Lacking interest or awareness of the feelings of others.

That is me, according to a well-respected leadership assessment.

My personality puts me at a HIGH RISK of derailing my leadership goals because I score 99% out of 100% on the RESERVED scale.

I think the assessment is completely accurate.  

If I had any critique at all, it would be: Why is it only 99% and not 100%?😊 

These results, do however, raise a few questions:

• How was I a successful executive who led hundreds of people in global organizations?
• How am I now a successful leadership coach who is often described as approachable and easy to be vulnerable with?

The answer is simple:

That leadership assessment describes me. It doesn’t define me.

Dr. Angelique ADams

Do you know what does define me?

My willingness to do what it takes to reach my goals.

❓Are you willing to do what it takes?

If you are willing to do what it takes, keep reading.

In this newsletter you will learn:

1. What most people get wrong about feedback and assessments.
2. The step-by-step process for preventing leadership derailers.
3. Strategies for overcoming the 12 most common career derailers plus my personal playbook for the ultra-reserved.

What Most People Get Wrong About Feedback and Assessments.

Anytime a leader gets what they perceive to be negative feedback about their effectiveness, it stings. 

Oftentimes, leaders take the feedback as the absolute truth about themselves. 

And once they’ve decided that there is no possibility of changing, they often take one of two paths.

The I Don’t-ers

Option 1, they wear their label like a badge of honor and get angry at the world for suggesting that they should do something different. 

Let’s call them, I don’t-ers.

• I’m blunt. I don’t ever soften my words or “sugarcoat” anything. Everyone else needs to grow a thick skin.  
• I’m an introvert. I don’t network or speak up in meetings. Everyone else needs to realize that it’s the quiet people who have the best insights.

The I Can’t-ers

On the other end of the spectrum, is Option 2. These people absorb the label and limit themselves.

Let’s call them, I Can’t-ers.

• I’m an introvert. I can’t take on that role, it requires talking to clients.
• I’m a technical person. I can’t take on a business development role because I’m not qualified to talk about business.

Both of these behaviors are ineffective. 

Both of these behaviors take what are simply descriptions of natural tendencies, personality, or past behavior and turn them into something much more powerful: derailers

In the leadership development world, a derailer is a behavior that, when overused or used at the wrong time, hinders a person’s ability to lead effectively. In some cases, derailers can ruin a leader’s chances for further career advancement. 

The Effective Alternative

There is a third option. 

People who take the third option say to themselves and others, “I will evaluate this and determine the correct course of action”. 

These are the I Will-ers.

I will-ers choose effectiveness over anger and fear. 

Here’s how they stop weaknesses from becoming derailers.

The Step-by-step Process for Preventing Leadership Derailers.

There are a myriad of articles and assessments about behaviors that cause leaders to fail in their roles. Many resources, including the assessment that revealed my reserved score, are for-fee assessments. 

If your organization sponsors leadership assessments, I strongly encourage you to consider taking one as part of your overall leadership development plan.

For everyone else, you can determine which of these might be applicable to you based on your performance review information and feedback from trusted sources.

Once you’ve identified the areas that need to be addressed, here is a step-by-step process that you can follow to overcome your leadership weaknesses:

1. Choose to be an “I Will-er”. Embrace a mindset of continuous learning and growth. Recognize that leadership development is an ongoing process. Stay curious. Seek out new opportunities for learning and development, and remain open to feedback and self-reflection.

💡Honestly, once you’ve done step 1, the rest of this plan looks remarkably similar to any other development plan.

2. Set Clear Goals. Define specific and measurable goals for improvement based on the identified weaknesses. These goals should be realistic and achievable within a defined timeframe. Prioritize the areas of weakness that have the greatest impact on your leadership effectiveness or are most critical to your current role and organizational objectives.

3. Develop a Personal Development Plan.  Create a personalized development plan outlining actionable steps and strategies to address each identified weakness. This plan should include specific activities, resources, and timelines for implementation.

4. Seek Support and Feedback. Engage with trusted mentors, coaches, or colleagues who can provide guidance, support, and constructive feedback throughout your development journey.

5. Test Your Strategies. Look for opportunities to apply your learning in real-world situations, such as leading projects, facilitating meetings, or managing team dynamics.

6. Reflect and Adjust. Regularly reflect on your progress and experiences, evaluating what is working well and what may need adjustment or refinement in your approach.

7. Measure Progress and Celebrate Success.   Establish clear metrics or indicators to track your progress towards overcoming your leadership weaknesses and celebrate milestones.

The step-by-step process outlined above will provide you with a repeatable strategy for implementing a personalized strategy.

🔥Sometimes good enough is, well, good enough.

If you want quick and dirty strategy that you can implement NOW and have an impact on your effectiveness, check out the cheat codes below.⤵️

Cheat Codes: How to Quickly Mitigate the 12 Most Common Career Derailers.

I’ve curated a list of cheat codes for mitigating the 12 Most Common Career Derailers identified by global organizational consulting firm, Korn Ferry.  

My Personal Strategies as an Ultra-reserved

Fun fact: as I was writing this article, I learned that we ultra-reserved are in good company. According to the Hogan Assessment folks, film character, John Wick, is also ultra-reserved.

Like John, we can seem socially withdrawn, tough, or uncommunicative. When I told my daughter about this, she said, “Yes, that sounds right!”

Here are my top two strategies for ensuring that my reserved personality doesn’t hinder my effectiveness.

1. I smile a lot. That might seem ridiculously simple, but it is very effective. It immediately makes me seem approachable and open. 
2. I use softening phrases. Even though I am truly curious and interested in people, because I am naturally terse, talking to me can feel like an interrogation. Here are some examples of how I transform what I would normally say by using softening phrases:

• Why?  →  I’m curious why you decided to take that approach.
• What is your point? → What would you say are the key takeaways?
• No Way!  → Unfortunately, I’d love to be helpful but I cannot.

TL;DR

Anytime a leader gets what they perceive to be negative feedback about their effectiveness, it stings. Oftentimes leaders take that feedback as the absolute truth about themselves and either become defensive and refuse to change or give up because they assume they can’t change. Both of those responses can hinder your effectiveness and ultimately limit your leadership potential. Instead, adopt an “I will do what it takes to be effective” mindset. Consider the criticism and develop a plan to take concrete actions to increase your effectiveness. In most cases, one simple step, (a cheat code), can stop career derailment in its tracks.